Another month, another disgraced Ex-Blue Jay--but this month it wasn't easy. It seems our little former stars have been behaving themselves pretty well this month. April will do that to you--all that enthusiasm and hope. That kinda stuff fades quick. So to fill this month's column I looked to my favourite ex-Jay hoodlums; David Wells and Jose Canseco, and lo and behold, we have our frame of shame tenant. You can always count on Jose (who do you think you are David Wells, pitching well and behaving? You stay away from Roger Clemens). But Jose...mmm....you can always count on ol' Jose.

A quick run down; just released from prison March 17th, Jose is sentenced to two years of house arrest. Canseco landed in the pen after failing to meet the terms of his probation for an earlier arrest stemming from a misdemeanour aggravated battery charge. Battery charge? Yes, Jose and real life bash-brother Ozzie were in a little punch up Halloween night outside a Miami Beach night club. Lovely. What were the terms of the probation that Jose failed to meet, you ask? Well, he didn't complete his community service, had been outside Florida more than 30 days, he didn't pay his fine and he didn't attend his anger management classes, (anger management, why would Jose need to take anger management classes?)

His excuse for these actions? It seems that Jose is fighting for custody of his young daughter (yeah, that's a good idea), which is why he was out of state. As for missing the classes, Jose claims that he "unsuccessfully tried to arrange the anger management classes, (and) misunderstood the timeframe during which his community service was supposed to begin." Bloody calendars!

So thirty days in the pen, two years of house arrest, more probation, and a warning that any future violation would result in Jose spending 15 years in jail. Nice. That would make Jose 53 if he went away today (excuse me, can somebody tell Jose that these are things you do when you are still young and able to autograph your way out of trouble).

Anyhow, what does all this ancient history have to do with April? Well I'll tell you. It's April, and Jose seems to be getting bored at home, and a little short of cash. His solution? Auction off a day of his life on EBay. Mmm, brilliant. Now I could make all the requisite jokes about teaching the highest bidder how to bounce balls of his head, shoot up steroids, and get in bar fights; how to sleep with Madonna, beat his wife, and botch a can't miss career, but I will hold back. Just three words: Frame of Shame.

Goodnight Jose.